Monday 17 March 2014

I fell in Love



What a weird and wonderful past-year it has been. I met so many beautiful people during my travels around Asia and more importantly, fell in Love with someone. Falling in Love is something I struggle with. It's nothing I find awkward, it's just that feeling of liberation & animated consciousness it takes you to. I'm wary of letting any girl into my heart because I (used to) feared that it would be savagely stamped on. So after much deliberation & fit sex, I sealed the deal so to speak. Labelled it. Characterized it on Facebook for the world to see and more importantly, I let myself fall in Love with my Girlfriend.

I have this quote or mantra, whatever, that I stick by and quote over and over again....And it's simply, "I don't have any regrets." And I didn't. Up until the moment I fell in Love with the South African girl with the smile that made me feel content. Having just come out of an intense chapter in my life whereby I spent months working on some issues I had created, mainly Cocaine abuse, I dived head first into the unknown; a relationship with someone I barely knew. But you know what? I fucking love stuff like that! That's how I live my life. That impulsive trait in me flourishes in those types of situations. 'just go with the flow'


The part in which I regret is naively thinking another being would be truthful about their feelings. I fell in Love with this girl not based on her looks, her popularity or sex appeal. I fell in Love with her because I saw a quality in her so deep that it took my breath away. It was her inner beauty. External beauty means nothing to me. Her free, joyous, serene, bright, peaceful, playful, courageous spirit touched me in a way like no other before. I felt drawn to her. A connection. And when that moment hits you in the face, you must simply embrace it and discover it for as long as you can. And that's exactly what I did. I just wished that I wasn't in such a fragile state of mind when we first met.

So, after almost 4 months of being single, I still wake each day and think about her before anything or anyone else. The attraction & admiration still lingers on and it can become painful some days as it's purely one sided. Nothing would make me happier than to be catapulted back into the beautiful dynamics of a relationship with the tenacious & truly beautiful being I once called my girl.

A short story now: 


Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was strapped to a murky hospital bed, my veins pumped full of sedatives & for a fly on the wall the scene would have resembled that of a Stephen King film. My immature Love at that time said, 'I need you. I need you. I love you because I need you.' But as time prevailed & the silence echoed on, my Love for her grew and matured. And with that maturity now comes the following quote from the heart, 'I need you because I Love you.'

Ashton x

Friday 28 February 2014

the 
junkie 
chronicles - A Series Of Opiate Enthusiasts. 


WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT:


Series 1 - Junkie Jay

Last week we hung out with a smack head called Jay. A 22 year old Heroin addict currently living on a council estate in North London. We spent 4 hours with Jay on a cold January morning. It was a Tuesday. Upon arrival to the estate, he was "clucking" and in need of his morning fix. He repeatedly asked if he could "lend a tenner" and we repeatedly told him to "fuck off". Clucking, regarded as pain worse than labour, is a term used by Heroin addicts when they are withdrawing from, and in need of, Heroin.



 
Jay sulks and stares out of his 9th floor window contemplating ways to get money so he can go and score some skag.





After 2 hours he finally gets money off his Mum to go and score. Here, he cooks up his Heroin.




After drawing up the Heroin into his needle, Jay checks the syringe with Military precision for any bits of residue that may have not fully dissolved. The outcome of such an injection would result in what junkies refer to as a "dirty hit".




Shooting Heroin. 2014. Tottenham. London.




Jay misses. Instead of injecting the Heroin into his vein, he accidentally misses the vein and shoots the poisonous liquid straight into the soft tissue in his forearm causing a severe burning sensation. This is the most common cause for abscesses amongst junkies.




After almost 45 minutes Jay finally shoots his skag. Relieved, he smiles and smokes a roll up claiming the Heroin was "fucking dynamite".




By the time we're leaving, Jay is on the phone again to his Mum trying to blag more money to go and score more Heroin.




The increase of Heroin addiction has surged quite dramatically over the past 2 years, particularly in towns worst hit by the recession. After spending time with the junkies of Blackpool, it was clear that Heroin use amongst 18-24 year olds is now more common than Cocaine use. This is due to the availability of the drug, it's crossover into suburban life and its price. £10 will get you 0.2 grams with a purity of around 46%. That's twice the potency of the smack that was flooding Britain back in 2010. Dealers are no longer the junkie scumbags meeting you round the back of Tesco's. They're non-addicts, young businessman, serving you in brand new BMW's. The streets are flooded with brown powder and the chances of your neighbour being a smack enthusiast are higher than ever.

The poppy powder revolution lingers like the stench of it's ambassadors. Will you be next?


Photos: Ashton Tamburro
Words: Ashton Tamburro

Special thanks to Jay. 



© 2014 Ashton Tamburro                                                                                                                      ashtamburro.blogspot.com
All rights reserved 

Monday 13 February 2012

Grammar From W2

It's funny how money can change a persons perspective on life practically overnight, but yet doesn't change their values.. Will millions of pounds turn me into a West London, Waitrose wandering wanker? Probably not. I like Tescos'. I'm a Krispy Kreme kinda guy; appealing, affordable, but, could be bad for your health in the long run. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter what I have now, it's what I had before that defies me. (note to self: avoid referring to oneself as a doughnut!)

Mr Tamburro x

Tuesday 13 September 2011

Love & Lust

Where has the time gone? The summer has been and gone and I've been left in the dark it feels.. Just read some of my posts from when I was 'in Love' and it made me think..."where did it all go wrong"? My words were so true, I don't write bullshit when it comes to feelings, so it begs the question.. 'was it all a fake show'? It baffles me how a couple can go from wanting to start a family one minute and then within a matter of weeks they're practically enemies and back on their own single tracks.. Were the feelings one sided? Fake? Pretentiously moulded together for the purpose of a fling? God knows.. I've only just realised what I could have lost out on re: a family.. Is it that meaningless that couples discuss having kids like they're food shopping? I can only come to the conclusion that it was 'me' who was more genuine. Surely, right? A relationship shouldn't break down so quickly unless something 'majorly' dramatic happens like, you get caught in the act/you physically hurt them/steal off them, etc etc..

Would I go back & start again? I would. Will I sit here and go over my faults and beg for forgiveness & promise a happy, financially secure & prominent future together? I would if I thought it wasn't going to fall on deaf ears. When I meet her, she'll stick by me though thick & thin, cos that's what relationships are all about. If my relationships were plain sailing, no dramas & 100% fantastic all of the time, I would get bored. You need to experience stress, upset & hurt. It brings you closer, it bonds you, it determines the strength of your love for one another. And if the guy sat in Starbucks writing this little piece, reflecting on some of the rough sailing, is no longer with; then that's the difference between Love & Lust.

Mr T x

Thursday 5 May 2011

The Great Escape x

Lovebox/black onyx/ricciricci/spa&a holiday...wow!! What an ordeal arranging it, but a relief now. Good times x

Tuesday 3 May 2011

**In The Making**

I type this, I cringe at this but, I'm liking this :) I'm in Love. There, I said it! It's my girls B-Day today and as she lay, sleeping in the next room, I'm wrapping more presents and planning the day that lies ahead. I know this is def Love and not some jealous, Love/hate - based relationship. How can I tell? I get butterflies when I see her. I can't stop taking her out and buying her things and spending time with her. She doesn't bore me, she doesn't argue with me and the best part? it just feels right.

I didn't set out looking for Love last summer. My head was all over the shot; Dad's health, working like a loon just to earn the pound and juggling the usual parties & super duper friends. Eventually, we wanna move in together, we want the same, we don't wanna rush it and I just have this feeling that this isn't going to be another half arsed relationship built on ego's & bad Karma. No, this time my head is firmly in first gear and it's like, VAMOS!!!

My new place right by Viccy park is perfect and even more so now as summer is rapidly creeping up on us :) We have the City getaway as well as the St Albans'ish, picturesque cottage for starting things..

Am I getting carried away though? Am I presuming as apposed to preparing? Or is this just exactly what it says on the tin....?!

Since we got with each other, I've calmed down in terms of partying, which I actually like believe it or not! Spending the weekend in the sticks aint that bad now, c'mon! Hated it at first. People were slow (physically not mentally), there were no jam packed Central Lines or arrogant trendies, shuffling with their i-pods, turning up their ego's and being ream around Dalston! Yeah, of course, I've got Fabric at my door and still go 1-2 times a month. I just don't hammer it like I used to. There's no 'k-holes' on Brick Lane or crying on a comedown cos I've run out of Red Stripe. I'm enjoying markets, fit food, fitter sex, getting fit stuff from Habitat for my gaff, sunbathing in my MASSIVE backgarden which is basically Viccy park!!

And the best part? I'm me. No fronts. No bullshit. No other girls to run off to. I don't need to. I have what I want and I hope that I get the Family I've wanted for the last 3-4 years etc...

Sash windows/nutella/apple juice/fitments/traktor sessions/cuddles/squiggle&fluff and all the other bits that fall in-between...:)

Time to go be sick now!! :-p Fuck it, I'm in Love and I want the world to know. Cheeeeeeese!!!!!!!!!!!

That's all for now x

Wednesday 6 April 2011

Should I stay or should I go?§

Hmmmm, Ibiza 2011 has been planned for a long time now and at current I have the boys on at me to hurry up & decide on what the fuck I'm doing??? The thought of just going out every night around Ibiza, getting messy & grabbing randoms bores me to be honest. But at the same time, I'm thinking, hot sun, fit people, good music and having all of that on my doorstep is attractive.. God damn London why can't you be prettier and hotter!!

Think I need to speak with Dr Phil :) He's such a twat! That was bullshit, Dr Phil is a cunt! Who lives in America! Anyways....

I guess, right this minute, Ibiza is offering me a little bit more security..hmmmmm??

We'll see... The world is at my feet, I just need to take the right step again.

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Restless Right Now

Can't sleep at ALL, erghhh... Listening to Luciano's Essential Mix probably isn't helping :-/ I was so tired earlier and even got my head down, then got woken by some random knob! Note to self: use vibrate option more on phone :) Done loads of fucking work today though, nice & easy. About time! The last two weeks have been manic! Moving is bleughhhhhhh... Loving the end result though, obv that's the fun part, right..

Saving up for my car is brilliant..:) Xmas 2011 will be ace! Finally my girl wont be having to pick me up, I can pick her up and drive to her little country gaff and curl up beside a hot fire... FUCK I SOUND GAY! VOMIT/SICK BUCKET/BLEUGH/FAINT-haha!

Fuck I'm hungry now. Might make some toast, or waffles? Or some eggy bread? Decisions! Ooooh, Fonejacker advert just popped up, gonna watch that instead then make food :-)

Bootiful xx

Monday 4 April 2011

Tonight Matthew...

I'll be travelling back up North to go pick up the rest of my stuff. New gaff is slowwwlllyyy coming on. Never thought re-decorating an entire flat would be so tedious! I should be the happiest bloke in the world right now, but I'm not, that much.. Adjusting to new things and having to cut down on going out 3-4 nights a week has put me into a meh state of mind! Went out shopping on Saturday with my girl and I bought chocolate, that's it! It was fit chocolate but still.. Tamburro is stressed out. I think as soon as I get my stuff down here and at least put my own identity into the flat/my room etc then I will feel more at home. At the moment I feel out of place.. 5 weeks and all the work will be done, thank fuck!x

Everyone says I seem chilled, like I've lost that 'Tamburro Charm' (whatever the fuck that is!) The cocky, flirty boy in me is slowly disappearing and I'm thinking about stuff like what i can cook for my girl, or what nice restaurant we should check out.. Is this Love as we know it? Maybe this is the first time I've started to fall in Love? Who knows. Either way, I hope it involves more partying haha!

Excuse me now, I have to go paint a wall :-)

Ashley x

Monday 28 March 2011

Wednesday 8 December 2010

Less Pay, BETTER perks!!

First day at my new JOB!! Finally, the freelancing days and helping out on events can be put to rest :) (maybe a few cheeky ones from time to time!) I am now officially working in an office and behind the scenes FULL TIME! No more 'come in on Tues or Weds type days'... The music industry is me down to a tee, can't think of a better job right now! Hoot da hoot hoot!!!!!!

Friday 3 December 2010

Fit food/fit drinks/fit company

Alto tonight, Belvedere heaven here I come :)

Sunday 7 November 2010

ps....

Luciano was aright....? Too rammed tho and had to get out of ther for a chillout :) The Godfather of Minimal......garbage?! Dare I! Oh well, he's still a dude!

On the grapevine

Loco @ Fuse later on? Yes fucking please magical party organiser ! :-) the WHOLE crew will be there....BOOM!

Friday 5 November 2010

A Long Overdue BLOWOUT!!

Meeting // Parrs Bday bash @ Public Life // 1001 Backroom sesh // Cargo for Fabric warmup // Lucianooooooo // Jaded // Fuse // Chillout somewhere // Saturday & Sunday.... DONE!!

Wednesday 27 October 2010

Tonight!

All set up, pretty much :-) Looking forward to seeing a few old faces this eve :-) I'll be hiding backstage all eve, fuck hanging out front with the masses, p-lease!

Bring it!!

DJ Awards 2010

Monday 4 October 2010

Good Times Ahead

Yes yes! We have got MARCO CAROLA!! So so happy we have finally got the event to press, finally! I'm actually slightly nervous about interviewing Marco but I should be ok :-) He don't come cheap tho fuck me!!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8215227190&ref=ts

If this gig is anything like the Squillace & Tanzmann gig then I expects it to be crackn' like, tidy!

x

Monday 27 September 2010

We're off to get a zinger 'tower' meal !

The Inbetweeners....SHIT FUNNY! Mega Laugh Out Loud Moments :-) So, the plan... Tensnake this Saturday then onto Paris is Burning with the gang, then fly back out to Ibiza for Luciano Closing on Sunday eve and then the ultimate party which will be Circo Loco @ dc10 on Monday!! woOP WoOp!! What a birthday weekender, eh eh :-)

Creaming my knickers !

Saturday 11 September 2010

Being a Dickhead's Cool

Sums up half of my mates & I can't help but kinda relate to this as well!!

Thursday 9 September 2010

Round 2

Looking forward to DMC World Finals this month! You should be with me!:-( Doesn't feel right. Gonna be muchas fun, though :-D

Thursday 2 September 2010

What's On My Brain At The Mo!

My work... Oh yeah! My 2nd featured feature due for print ASAP!! :-)

"You are listening to Ibiza Voice, dot com". I love that little intro!! D/L Lee Foss's latest mix.. wa wa wowwww!!! On FULL blast in the office right now... I am the Podcast King, it's official, they voted ha!!

Bagel for lunch I think... :-)

Tuesday 31 August 2010

The Drums - Best Friend

Met these guys last weekend. My new fav band for 2010! Absolutely awesome & a wkd interview on the whole... Spread the word, these guys are gonna be HUGE!!

Thursday 26 August 2010

Smitten

Sat chilling out after a fucking HECTIC day @ work! Stressed out to fuck... Ibiza Closing Special coming up, lots of work and research la la la la... Anyways, I'm chilling with a fat bowl of Coco Pops, Yazzoo Milkshake & a bit of Gavin & Stacey on the old Macbook :-)

Weekend plans V quickly: Working/interviewing/shmoozing this Sat @ SW4. Sun will be back @ SW4 as a guest and get to party :-) Followed by either Ministry or Fabric that night and then Carnival on the Monday.. The back to the grind on Tues, wa wa waaaaaaaa !

My name is Ash, I'm a 20 something wannabee/trainee editor and I'm making money I don't spend, fucking girls I don't particularly like and listening to tunes that I could marry :-) All Saints gave me a fucking Mastercard..idiots! I'm crap with things like that. I always forget that it's not actually free and you DO have to pay it back eventually, hmph. Fuck a doodle do you bunch of pestering cunts ;-D x

Sunday 22 August 2010

AAA....? Yes please Fabric!

Villalobos....!!!! T Minus 7 hourrrrrssssssssssssssss!!!!! Immense!

Monday 16 August 2010

Cheese On Toast

What a shit track!

Thursday 12 August 2010

Back to the drawing board±

I'm seriously having issues with my Mac!!! If you have read my previous posts you will know I've had my Macbook Pro for around 3-4 weeks now and after over a decade of using Windows, I can't get used to it yet!! I've worked out loads of shortcuts etc and am not a complete retard when using it but, i do miss Windows, it's gotta be said!

One thing I do love about it; the genie effect when minimising or closing windows..ha ha! Proper geek :-) It was the best £1700.00 I've ever spent but, won't get an iphone. I'm happy with my BB. iphones are good don't get me wrong but EVERYONE'S got one! Millions of people, all over the planet; i-clones!

Toodles, thanks for taking the time out to read this Barb :-) x

I think this dude actually could be the Happiest dj on earth!!!

Tuesday 10 August 2010

Sick!

Mendo Ibiza Voice Podcast.... hmmm, fuck yes! We LIKE LIKE LIKE !!

Sunday 1 August 2010

"Honestly mate, they're the nuts!"

My interview with Sander Kleinenberg was so good! We got on like a house on fire! Can't wait to get all of the other interviews transcribed and the photo's printed. Hanging out with the Tidy Boys & Lisa Lashes was cool as fuck..Brought back some good memories from the days when I actually used to be into that type of music :-D

Global, always a fun time to laugh and take the piss out of the tens of thousands of chavs that attend each & every year... ! Plus, I took a pill which I fucking LOVED! Usually, I'm against them as they always make me feel proper sketchy the day after but, the one I took was like £10 each and called relentless I think? Anyway's... wow! It was like the pills I used to take 10 years ago! I felt super the next day, no dirty comedown or anything :-) But, I'm not doing them again at all, well, not until next years GG.

Back to the grind tomorrow.

x

ps... Loco Dice's set... pretty gash if I'm being honest. He fucked up so many times man. Adam Beyer though, he was pretty special. His set was so good :-) I really enjoyed watching Faithless as well. They know how to rock a crowd, bloody hell! Hmmm who else impressed me... Timo Mass's set was pretty good. Rebekah, she played some really nice tracks :-) and rather bizarrely..Micky Slim! ha ha he was knocking out some crackin' dubstep/d&b/hip hop, like! Pretty funny being in the most chavviest tent on site but, it was fun listening to him.. All in all, GG 2010 was pretty fun :-) Me, Beth, J & Cassie & Luke had a good & random time...sickness & fitness :-)

Russell Brand lol