Love & Lust

Where has the time gone? The summer has been and gone and I've been left in the dark it feels.. Just read some of my posts from when I was 'in Love' and it made me think..."where did it all go wrong"? My words were so true, I don't write bullshit when it comes to feelings, so it begs the question.. 'was it all a fake show'? It baffles me how a couple can go from wanting to start a family one minute and then within a matter of weeks they're practically enemies and back on their own single tracks.. Were the feelings one sided? Fake? Pretentiously moulded together for the purpose of a fling? God knows.. I've only just realised what I could have lost out on re: a family.. Is it that meaningless that couples discuss having kids like they're food shopping? I can only come to the conclusion that it was 'me' who was more genuine. Surely, right? A relationship shouldn't break down so quickly unless something 'majorly' dramatic happens like, you get caught in the act/you physically hurt them/steal off them, etc etc..

Would I go back & start again? I would. Will I sit here and go over my faults and beg for forgiveness & promise a happy, financially secure & prominent future together? I would if I thought it wasn't going to fall on deaf ears. When I meet her, she'll stick by me though thick & thin, cos that's what relationships are all about. If my relationships were plain sailing, no dramas & 100% fantastic all of the time, I would get bored. You need to experience stress, upset & hurt. It brings you closer, it bonds you, it determines the strength of your love for one another. And if the guy sat in Starbucks writing this little piece, reflecting on some of the rough sailing, is no longer with; then that's the difference between Love & Lust.

Mr T x